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Sadia Kalam's avatar

I’ve not yet made the trip with the kids to India or Bangladesh. I too feel like a tourist every time I’ve been to either place as an adult. I’d like to plan the trip with my parents because it feels less like a tourist destination and more like an excavation of memory if the kids can imprint memory to a place.

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Vivek Mittal's avatar

On this last trip, I went with my parents but even they feel a bit disconnected. Relatives on my dads side don’t live anywhere near where he grew up, and same on my moms side. I remember specific places from my childhood visits to India but no one lives there anymore, all of them having moved closer to urban centers. And I think place is so important for memory.

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Sadia Kalam's avatar

Speaking of disconnected, my indian inlaws bought a groupon to visit the taj mahal. (!!) They loved being tourists in their own country.. I found it so strange, but they said they never got to see it growing up in Mumbai and Gujarat. There's a lot of layers to place and memory and how it changes over the course of our lives, and then as parents what parts of culture are important to impart and which do we let go? Thanks for an evocative read Vivek!

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Vivek Mittal's avatar

It’s the same for my dad - he never went to the Taj Mahal growing up in Delhi! We tried to make the trip in winter but couldn’t do it bc everyone got sick 🤒. And thanks for reading!

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Janine Lim's avatar

I feel like this when I go to the Philippines! Wanting connection to my homeland, but always feeling conflicted for similar reasons. American is written all over my face and I cringe at what is considered entertainment. I am definitely an outsider. I want to feel more tender things like the memories I have of taking my baths in a galvanized steel tub during a brownout, but those days are gone. Or perhaps it’s all nostalgia.

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Vivek Mittal's avatar

Yeah its so hard sometimes to go back to a place I love, hoping that I will continue to love it in the same way. But I know I won't, ultimately, be able to.

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Janine Lim's avatar

We are older now. We have more perspective. Plus globalization...It'll never be the same.

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